The Great Phantasm!
by galithblades
Summary: Story is being remastered, rewritten, and will be getting a proper conclusion. Chapter 1 is estimated to be remastered sometime in a few days, with chapter 2 being sometime in April. Chapters 3/4/5/6 won't be worked on until my classes have ended in late may
1. Chapter 1 - beginning

I could care less about to what they were up to. Thought Kotomine as he walked through the street. Gilgamesh was ranting about how "there never was any good food" and would completely destroy his kitchen in the church. Caren was busy conducting the late night sermon, so he had the time to actually go out and get them some decent food. Kotomine walked for a few more minutes, and stopped in front of a restaurant. He checked around him to see if anyone was watching him, but he couldn't see anyone. As he walked in, surveying the area, he noticed someone familiar in the far back table. "So this is where he's been." Kirei said to himself quietly, as he kept looking at the couple. The man then noticed the priest, and let out a gasp, nearly falling out of his chair in shock.

"What is it, Lancer-kun?" Asked the lady beside him. Lancer didn't respond, he was too worried about Kirei being there. Lancer mumbled to himself, "why is that jerk here!?"

"Who?" Asked the lady again, who was now starting to become irritated with his attitude. Lancer let out a sigh, "it's just that priest who lives up on the hill." Lancer let out a sigh afterwards, though he was really afraid. "Oh, you mean Kirei? Do you two know each other?" She was getting even more curious, and annoyed. "Well yeah…..He's been letting me live up there until I can afford a new place, haha." Lancer tried to shrug it off. He failed.

The priest walked over while Lancer was explaining to the woman as to why Kirei might be here. "Lancer." Said the priest, nearly making Lancer jump off his feet. "You've been gone for the past week…."

"Well Kotomine, Bazett and I have been dating, so we've been out traveling," cried Lancer, though it did not seem to please Kirei. Kirei then made eye contact with Bazett, who let out a smile, even though she was more afraid then she let on.

"Bazett? Oh, I see." Kirei let out one of his devious smiles. "Then I shouldn't keep you busy Lancer." Kotomine turned his back to them and continued, "you really ought to worry about you date." And with that, Kirei left them, and exited the restaurant.

"Damn him, always being creepy." Moaned Lancer as he returned to his meal.

"I think he's kind of funny, with the way he looks and all." Said Bazett as she continued eating her food.

"Not you two!? Dammit. I can't wait to stab him with my Gae Bolg someday." He grunted.

Out on the street, Kirei was still walking towards the market, but then he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. "Saber! We really shouldn't be out this late." Cried the orange haired boy as he was being dragged by the girl. "We have to hurry before the market closes! We have to get the sale on those curry dishes!" Cried Saber as she started walking even faster. Kirei just let out a moan, "when will Shirou learn? Arturia has a bigger stomach then any known man that's alive." And with that, began to continue on his journey to the market.

Up at Ryuudo Temple…..

"If only I could leave." Sighed Assassin. When he was summoned, he was bounded to the temple gates for all eternity, so he's pretty much going to be up there forever. "Besides that, the sky looks more beautiful then a blooming blossom in the middle of spring." And with that, the temple doors slammed open and loud thumping noises began to walk towards Assassin. "I told you to shut up! Souichiro-sama and I are trying to get ready for the festival!" Cried the woman, who was now more furious then anything else.

"That's nice and all Caster, if only you could act like a proper woman though." Moaned Assassin, who then felt a kick in his back for making such a nasty remark. "You shut your filthy mouth! It isn't my fault you were bound to the temple gates!" Yelled Caster as crossed her arms and began tapping her right figures against her shirt arm.

"Apologies, I meant no disrespect." Groaned Assassin as he was rubbing the spot that she kicked. "I know it wasn't your fault; this life is a cruel one, that's for sure." Caster's anger began to subside, and an evil grin popped up on her face. "Assassin, do you wish to go to the festival that'll start in the next few days?"

Assassin was dumbfounded that she even asked that. "You would want me to attend?" He was now suspicious that she was plotting against him. She leaned down to him, so that her face was mere inches from his. "I don't see why you can't. In fact, I may have a solution that could help you with your 'predicament'." Assassin nearly vomited at the fact that she wants to help him, as that is far out of character for her. "And what do you plan to do?"

"Shrink the temple so it'll fit into a bag." She began to laughed immediately afterwards. All he could think; plot to kill Assassin. The look was the same when she almost killed Kirei in a the Unlimited Blade Works route. Oops, breaking fourth wall, sorry!

Over at the Tohsaka residence, "can you not?" Moaned Rin. Archer was sitting on the couch, eating a bowl of chips and watching his favorite show; he's liked it ever since he was a teenager. "Archer, we need to be getting ready!" Cried Rin. "Shh, the show still has 30 minutes to go. I only get to watch it once a week." Archer did not hesitate to say that; he knew who held all the power. Rin stomped her foot and yelled, "dammit Archer!"

After finally reaching the market, Kirei was just looking through the aisles. "Too overpriced for my budget." Moaned Kirei as he looked down at Gilgamesh's shopping list. "How the hell does he think I'll be able to pay for this!?" Yelled the priest. Now, everyone in the shop was looking at him funny. Kirei put a fist up to his mouth and let out a cough. "What are you doing here, Kotomine?" Cried the boy in the next aisle. Kirei turned to see Shirou, who managed to escape Saber's grip. "Emiya? Oh I remember now, I saw you being dragged by Saber." Shirou began to look around, hoping Saber hadn't found him.

"Kotomine, I hate to ask this, but can you let me stay at your place for the night?" Shirou hesitated to say it, but he did. The fool never learns. Kirei looked as if a knife went into his chest. "Why is that, Emiya?" Shirou remained still, "well..."

Kirei needn't hear anymore. He placed his hand on Shirou's shoulder and leaned down to him. "I don't see why not, though it's really packed at the church with my two guests already." Shirou felt a chill go down his spine, "thank you, Kotomine. You know I wouldn't ask you unless it was urgent." Kirei knew the best way to get back at Gilgamesh, and maybe even punish Caren for no reason. What could be better!? Kirei and Shirou checked out with what little groceries that Kirei could afford, and began to walk out of the store.

"Have you happen to have seen Lancer, Kirei?" Shirou asked. "Hmm? No, I can't say I have. He's been missing for a week." This was a lie, but Kirei didn't care. He's the bad guy, he does bad things. "Well if you see him, tell him I have what he asked for." Kirei was now more interested. "And what is it, I could gladly give it to him if I see him.

"Poison tofu mix." Kirei stopped in his tracks. "So that's why he was truly away. He was working up the courage to kill me while I'm eating. I guess he doesn't have the guts to look me in the face." Kirei whispered, though it was highly ironic, coming from him. "Kirei?" Shirou sounded worried as he spoke.

"No, it's nothing." Replied Kotomine as they began to continue on wards to the church.

* * *

Author's notes: This is my first Fate story, so don't expect it to be 100% perfect. As the story progresses, it will get much better. I do thank you for reading, so if you liked it, drop a favorite and be sure to give me your thoughts.

Spoilers: Illya & Berserker WILL be in the next episode. Along with Kirei, duh.


	2. Chapter 2 - Dining with thy enemy

"We're here." Stated Kotomine. Shirou had finally caught up. How can an old man move faster than a teenager? Thought Shirou as he finished catching his breath, though, Kotomine didn't seem to notice, or care. "Just tell me before we go in. Who exactly are these two 'guests'?" Out of the corner of Shirou's eye, he saw him give a smile that would even make the devil whimper. "My daughter, Caren. Also my...friend..." Replied the priest, trying very hard not to chuckle. Though he was rudely interrupted by both of their stomachs. "It would seem that we both need food. Come Emiya, let us eat! With what little food we have..." And with that, they both marched over to the church.

"About damn time you got back, Kotomine!" Yelled from inside the church. "Quiet you, we have a guest coming to stay with us for the night. It would be rude to, turn him away." Kirei replied, as if completely shrugging off the person who was yelling."That isn't who I think it is..." Remarked Shirou, as he hesitated to enter. "What's wrong? A hero of justice like yourself must never be afraid." Kotomine said ecstatically, almost as if he was tempting Shirou to go in first.

Both entered at the same time, though Shirou was the only one who was afraid. "I found our dog." Said Kirei, as he walked over to the podium at the end of the rows of chairs. "Good, he can fetch us more wine!" Retorted the blond man as he materialized in front of Kirei. Before anyone had anytime to react, the man completely went berserk as soon as he saw poor Shirou in the background.

"What the hell is that faker doing here!?" The man screamed and pulled out two portals from his Gate of Babylon. Two swords with gold particles started to appear in the center of These two portals. "Now now Gilgamesh, let's not be hasty. Emiya is a guest. It is the overseers job to accommodate all the current masters." Replied Kirei, though he didn't seem to think Gilgamesh would do anything. "Kotomine, you are one dog of the church." With those words, Gilgamesh snapped his fingers and the two portals disappeared in a sparkle of gold. "I'll let the faker live for now. No promises while he's sleeping!" Gilgamesh stormed past Shirou, nearly knocking him over. "Please excuse him, he hasn't eaten in two days, because he crushed our kitchen again."

"So how are we going to eat?" Shirou watched as Gilgamesh raced up the stairs and heard a slam of a door. Someones mad. He thought, quickly turning back to Kirei.

"Don't worry, I had my daughter, Caren, rebuild it. For the fifth time." Kirei replied.

30 minutes had passed since they arrived at the church. Kirei was busy cooking the meal while Shirou sat at the table. Four chairs surrounded it, but he couldn't think of who the fourth chair was for. "Kotomine-er, Kirei, I never knew you were a cook." Shirou was just trying to soften the mood, as this church really scared the hell out of him. "When living with Caren, who eats like a cow, and Gilgamesh, who drinks all my wine, someone has to provide for them." Shirou didn't seem convinced. Did Kotomine always cook for the church, even his daughter & servant? Thought Shirou as he continued to look around the kitchen.

Kirei turned off the oven, and walked towards the kitchen entrance, "It's supper time. Be sure to pay our guest his due respects." Kirei didn't seem to wait for them, and began setting the dishes around the table. "They'll be 10 minutes late." Kirei whispered into Shirou's ear as he set the dishes down. It seems he had them all figured out. "Why's that?" Shirou asked, Kirei didn't answer at first, but it seemed like he knew why.

"Well, Caren tends to sleep when she isn't doing her duty as a priest, and Gilgamesh does what he wants. Why they are always 10 minutes late? Who knows, they're nearly as bad as Lan-" Kirei stopped, treading carefully so that he won't reveal that he is Lancer's master. 10 minutes past as Gilgamesh and Caren both, at the same time, slammed into the kitchen. Both sat down at the table, Caren sat beside Shirou, and Gilgamesh right across from him. Gilgamesh didn't say a word, but Shirou knew that he was going to kill him if he wasn't careful.

"Kirei, why is the faker, that's sleeping with my Saber, still doing here?" Kirei didn't respond, but gave him a glance that pretty much said it all. "Sleeping with!?" Shirou bursted out, realizing what he had done, he had quietly sat back down. "He asked for a place to stay, so I gladly obliged him." What could be better? Gilgamesh being tortured because Shirou is here, Shirou being depressed that he isn't sleeping in Saber's bed, and Caren, who can't stand anyone. Kirei then began to mumble with one of those kinds of faces; "I can just feel the happiness flowing through me."

* * *

Lancer was walking through the streets, minding his own business. He was wearing his green & yellow Hawaiian shirt, instead of his normal blue tights. "Dammit, why can't that priest just drop dead?" Lancer said to himself. "If only I had seen Shirou today, I could have gotten that mix and then gave it to him." Though he was alone, Lancer could feel that someone was watching him. "Having fun yet, mister?" squealed a girl's voice from behind him. Lancer jumped around in a defensive pose, ready for a battle, until he notice who it was. "Oh, it's just you." Moaned Lancer as walked over and tapped her on the head.

"Wanna play?" She said, so much so that it was none other then creepy. Play? At a time like this? Lancer thought. But by then, it was too late. he felt himself getting lifted into the air, and as he turned his head, he was slammed into the ground. "Dammit Berserker." Cried Lancer quietly, who was now 2 feet into the ground. "Good job Berserker!" Screamed Illya as they both ran off together. All that could be heard was the large footsteps slamming into the road that night. Lancer died shortly after, but will return in the next installment because screw logic!

* * *

Over at Kirei's church, they were now all eating, Kirei was stuffing his face with tofu, Caren, who was slowly eating her salad, Gilgamesh, who was eating his steak like a true gentleman, and Shirou, who was served the leftovers of the tofu. "Kirei..."

"Yes Shirou?" Replied the priest as he stopped scarfing down his tofu.

"Can I just have a couple pieces of bread? And some butter?" They all heard Gilgamesh let out a snort as he continued to cut up his food. Not even two seconds later, Kirei smacked Gilgamesh across the back of the head. "Kotomine!?" Cried the 'king,' though Kirei didn't seem to care. "I don't see why not, Emiya." Shirou got up, and began walking over to the fridge, who was immediately stopped by Caren. She pulled on his pants leg, and began to say, "five pieces, with extra butter on them, please." Almost immediately, she let go of his pants leg. Damn, Kotomine wasn't lying. She does eat like a cow.

Overall, the rest of dinner went over smoothly. Kirei had three bowls of tofu, kind of shocked he doesn't put on any weight, and Caren grabbed a leftover chicken tray from the fridge, and ate all of it. Not the tray though. Gilgamesh just stared at Shirou after he finished eating his steak, which was very unnerving. "It would seem we are all done." Kirei spoke up, then whipped him mouth of the tofu. "We should bow our heads and thank our lord."

Shirou didn't respond, he just did as he was told. Caren followed suite, and Gilgamesh just sighed and walked out. Kirei lifted his head, and said "Shirou, you may use our second guest room, it's right beside the room that says King of Heroes." Shirou was about to argue, but didn't. Who knows what Kirei was up to. Shirou then began to make his way to that room, passing Gilgamesh's room, and stopping at the room that stated: Cu's crib. He walked in and switched on the lights, and to his horror, he discovered something truly distasteful. All over the room, there was nothing but pictures, toys, and a plush doll all resembling Bazett. Shirou nearly vomited, but held it in. And he thought Gilgamesh was obsessed with Saber; this guy has him beat.

Back downstairs, Kirei was cleaning up the dishes downstairs. Despite being the bad guy, he was more or less the housewife. He always cooks and seems to always clean up after Lancer & Gilgamesh. He looked up to the ceiling, and just said, "I wonder how Shirou is doing up there." He grinned, thinking of how much Shirou could be suffering if that room. But before he could hide his smile, he heard a large crash from up above. "It seems Gilgamesh is dealing with him, as expected."

Shirou was ducking and dodging the flying swords crashing around him. "Faker! Just stay still!" Cried Gilgamesh as he fired yet another five swords. "You're breaking this guy's room!" Despite saying that, Gil would not let up. "So!? I am the rules! And the dog who owns it can just deal with that!"

"Trace." As Shirou uttered these words, Gilgamesh's rage began to increase even more so.

"Bastard!" Gilgamesh raised his hand, and a large spear started to appear from a portal beside him. Not even a second later, he shot it right at Shirou. However, Shirou blocked it with a sword that he made appear out of thin air.

"On." Before Gilgamesh could react, Shirou copied his Gate, and began firing swords back at him. Gilgamesh had to counter quickly, but it was too late. Each sword wasn't targeted at him, but at his portals. "Damn faker!" Just as he said that, they both heard a knock on the door that lead to Cu's room. "I hope you two are finished." Shirou recognized the voice; it was Kirei's. "Grr, you'll live for now, faker. But if you dare touch my Saber, I'll make sure you don't leave fully intact next time." And with that, Gilgamesh bursted out of the room and back into his own.

"Apologies, Emiya. He does this to every guest of ours." Shirou didn't know how to respond, mainly because he just figured that he only does this to him alone. "I think it would be best to return to your residence."

"Yeah." Not another word was spoken that night between them. Shirou quickly started his long walk to his house, expecting to see Saber there, ready to cut him in two for abandoning her at the market.

* * *

Author's notes: Well, that was longer then I thought it would be. Anyways, here is part two! I promise the next chapter will focus more on my waifu, Saber, and the other characters. Except Shinji, that sonuvabitch. Next chapter won't be out for at least two to three days as I'm currently busy with Classes. However, I'm sure you will all love it, assuming you liked my current work.

If you have any suggestions for later chapters, just submit a review! I'll always read reviews.

Next Chapter three chapters: Habits of the Crazy p1, Habits of the Crazy p2, The Holy Grail Festival.


	3. Chapter 3 - Habits of the Insane

Shirou walked down the street that lead away from Kotomine's church. "Jeez, that guy doesn't quit." He sighed. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a broken part of the street. All that was left was a man in blue tights, who looked like he was about to die. "Well, he wasn't human." Shirou remarked and continued on wards to his home. "Help..." cried the man, who then fully died.

As Shirou entered the market district, he heard a cold, dead like voice coming from an outside restaurant. "Emiya?" Shirou looked over, only to notice Kuzuki sitting right beside a woman with light purple hair. "Oh hello Kuzuki-sensei." Shirou remarked, who then quickly started walking away from the restaurant. "Souichirou-sama? Who was that?" The man shook his head, and returned to looking at his menu. Shirou quickly made it home without anymore interruptions, and swiftly opened the door. Before he could get any further, Saber was standing there, looking rather pissed. "Shirou." Shirou tried to make for the door again, but was grabbed and pulled back into the kitchen.

* * *

"Let me kill him!" Cried Gilgamesh as he stood inside the church chapel.

"no." Kotomine replied.

"Dammit Kotomine! You never let me do anything!" Gilgamesh said as he was tapping his foot in irritation.

"You never listen, so I'll have to use a command seal. Good thing I have like fifty." Kirei lifted his arm, and his command seal began to glow through his right arm's clothes. "By the order of my command seal..."

"Kotomine-!"

"You will no long ignore my commands, and you cannot leave this church without my say so." A beam of light shined through the room. Gilgamesh gritted his teeth in anger, and Kirei just stared at him with a smile. "Now that you're out of the way, I shall go see an old friend." Kirei walked out, leaving Gilgamesh to himself.

Sakura heard a knock at her door. She ran over to it, and opened it without hesitation. "Father Kotomine?" Cried Sakura as he let himself in. "Sakura Matou, a pleasure to see you." Kirei turned towards her, now with one of his smiles. "What are you doing here?" She let out, completely ignoring his rude nature. "I'm here to help you gain Emiya's favor." Sakura's shock now turned into excitement as she directed the priest to the Matou estate's dinning room.

* * *

Over at the Emiya residence...

"Shirou, I demand to know where you were!" Saber sure doesn't kid around when she's angry. "Well, I was visiting Kotomine's place." Saber's anger turned worst as she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "You know what he's capable of! You shouldn't have gone!" Shirou looked away with a face of regret. "Well, I was going to get advice from him, but we were rudely interrupted by you-know-who." Saber let go of his shirt collar, and all the anger left her face. "So, what's for dinner?" Shirou looked at her in shock, almost as if he had seen a ghost.

"You abandoned me at the market, so I bought everything with a gold bar that Gilgamesh sent me."

"Everything...?"

"Everything." She remarked triumphantly, for whatever reason.

"Jeez." Shirou replied while letting out another sigh.

* * *

"This is great!" Cried Assassin as he walked through the market district. "Gotta give it to that horrible wench, she sure is brilliant." He insulted her and complemented her at the same time. He walked through the markets, each and every one of them. "First time roaming these streets." He replied to everyone he saw, even if they never even talked to him. Assassin bought himself a blue pinstriped suit, which looked rather good with his blue hair. "Modern times aren't so bad. The wear is just as extravagant as when I was alive." Forget to mention, Assassin is a fantasy heroic spirit. HE NEVER EXISTED!

Assassin quickly made his way to the restaurant that Caster and Kuzuki were dining at. "Yo!" He cried out, although Caster put her hand over her head, trying to ignore him. "Damn, he found it before I could give it to him.." She mumbled to herself as he ran over to the table.

"So this is your world, Master Kuzuki?" He let out, putting his hand on Kuzuki's shoulder. The man simply nodded, and returned to eating. "Assassin, why are you here?"

"You left this in your room, so I took it." He was blunt, not caring about the repercussions. "Assassin, you should know that..." She reached into his pocket and withdrew the device. "I added a teleport home option." She pressed the button, and Assassin disappeared in an instant. "Now we can eat in peace again, Souichirou-sama!"

* * *

On the street, the man in blue tights quickly jumped to his feet. "The balance of luck as shifted. I no longer contain the worse luck!" He cried, but was immediately runned over by a large four by four truck. The truck stopped, and three men jumped out of the back of it. "Oh damn, another one. Hey boys, we got us some roadkill! We dining tonight!" They hauled the body into the container, and closed the hatch as the truck sped off.

Kirei watched as it all happened not far away, but didn't seem to care at all. "Two deaths in one night? It must be my birthday." He made his way up the street and entered the church gates. Once he got inside, he saw his chapel completely filled with empty wine bottoms scattered all over the floor. The benches were rearranged into that of a fort, and inside sat Gilgamesh in a throne like seat. "Kirei."

"Gilgamesh!? What did you do!?" He let out in astonishment. "I made myself at home." Kirei regretted forcing him to stay here, but it seems like it will work out, at least before Gil trashed the church. You see, Kirei was planning this since Shirou arrived, but it horribly backfired. "Kirei, you should go for a stroll through the streets."

"I just did." Gilgamesh shook his head. "Listen to your king, for I always know what's best!"

"You aren't my king, Gilgamesh." Kirei answered, not hesitating one bit at all.

"THEN WHO IS?!"

"Jesus." Kirei replied, not showing any emotion in his answer.

"But you're evil!" Gilgamesh let out in shock.

"I know."

* * *

Author's notes: Yes, I know this one was short, but I've been so busy with school that I couldn't get anymore done on it. So i'll be breaking it into two parts, that way it won't take me as long to get it out.

If you get the reference at the end of this chapter, congrats! You get a hug from Kirei, in his basement.


	4. Chapter 4 - It's cold

Well at least I'm not dead. Sorry for the long wait, but with school and work (yes I'm working now), I completely have fallen behind on this story. On an upside, I went over my old work that I had for this chapter and revised it to make it even better. Enjoy? THE REFERENCES ARE TOO DAMN HIGH IN THIS CHAPTER! Note there is a time skip in this one.

* * *

"You know, they always say that we're different, but in all honestly, we're more alike than they could ever imagine." Archer said, staring at the person he considered to be the dumbest person alive, Shirou Emiya. "So, does that mean we're related?" He said, looking at Archer in confusion. "If that helps you understand it than yes." He mumbled, staring deeply into Shirou's eyes. "Okay, I'm out, that was all I wanted to say!" Cried Archer as he vanished. Shirou gasp, "he can turn INVISIBLE!?" Archer, in spirit form, let out a sigh and facepalm as he left to return to Rin's mansion. "I swear, I would kill him if Rin didn't use that command seal on me! And if it wasn't SO DAMN COLD OUT HERE!"

* * *

Over at the Fuyuki town square, numerous people were setting up the decorations and stands for what looked like a festival. In one of the back alleyways, stood Kotomine, Gilgamesh, and Caren, watching what everyone was setting up. "shit, that one's taken." Moaned Caren as she saw a cupcake seller bring out piles of cupcakes for his stand. Kotomine glared at the curry vendor, and sighed in disappointment. "If I was a ramen chef, I wouldn't serve such wasteful curry." Gilgamesh quickly snorted, making remarks under his breath. "Father, why don't we do a bake sale, like I already asked?" Kotomine shrugged, and replied coldly, "maybe if you would REJOICE WITH ME MORE, then we could." Gilgamesh snapped out of his annoyed state and screamed, "AWW YEAH, KIREI JUST SAID HIS CATCHPHRASE!" Both Caren and Kotomine quickly covered his mouth to avoid detection from the other vendors. "Don't make me serve you MAPO TOFU again!" Cried the priest as he continued to hold Gilgamesh up by his right hand. "Anyways...so about that bake sale?"

"We could put mapo tofu in the baked goods." Caren remarked, showing a grin on her face just as Kirei would.

"You know, if you weren't my daughter, I'd consider you a curse on Fuyuki. But, I'd still consider that to be true nonetheless."

Before they could react, they heard a familiar voice coming from the street. "Hey Beserker, look at those idiots thinking they're all sneaky-like. Kill them for me." Ilya quickly moved to the side as Beserker rammed head first towards the alley.

"Caren?" Kotomine asked in a calm voice, while still holding onto Gilgamesh's face.

"Yes Father?" She replied, in a voice much like his. Kotomine's cold, stone face didn't budge, but merely let out a whisper. "We shouldn't overstay our welcome. Besides, we can just leave Gilgamesh here."

"Do it." Caren didn't need a second to decide on such an important matter. Both her and Kotomine ran away, leaving Gilgamesh to be dragged away by the giant brute. "DAMN YOU CAREN! IF YOU'RE FATHER WASN'T MY MASTER, I'D KILL YOU BOTH! Also, anyone else notice that it's really cold?" Before anyone could answer, they watched in horror as Berserker crushed him against the ground multiple times, Hulk style.

"I JUST SAID THAT! DAMN FAKER!" Cried Archer from a mile away.

* * *

"Did you hear that, Sakura?" Rider stood watching dust rise up from the city through Sakura's bedroom window.

"Ignore them, they shouldn't be noticed." She replied, in a sinister voice.

* * *

Lancer sat on a bench, right beside him, sat the crazy witch Caster. "So let me get this straight, you want me to break into Gilgamesh's room, steal his Saber dolls, and sell them to you?"

"Oh look, you can hear. Congrats." She said in an evil, yet soft voice

"Come now Caster, I got so many Saber dolls."

"How many?"

"Saber dolls for day...Z." He said, in a confident yet mocking voice.

"Day...Z?"

"That is true facts." He replied, like he didn't care about anything. She just stared at him for a minute.

two minutes...

five minutes...

"But in all seriousness, I'm not touching that room. Smells like dead fish and a lust for Saber." He finally answered, hearing the yelling of Archer and the death screams of Berseker. "Yeah, I'll just go ask that priest." She replied, vanishing into thin air.

"You do that."

* * *

 _flashback time:_

 _"Shirou." Cried the voice of a withered man. "What is it, Kiritsugu?" He asked, looking up at his father. "When you become a certain age, you will understand what it means to be a man."_

 _"When will that be?" He asked, in a curious voice._

 _"Shh." Kiritsugu replied._

 _"But..."_

 _"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."_

 _Shirou stared at his father, in complete confusion, as always. not long after, Kiritsugu threw money at Shirou's face._

 _"Go get me another pack of cigarettes."_

* * *

Author's notes: A very short chapter, I know! This has been done for awhile, but with work & classes, I've had very little time to get on here. Another reason for the short chapter is because I'm working on another story, one I think is turning out quite nicely so far. Look forward to that sometime in the near future! (I hope)

Forgive me!


End file.
